Royal Flush

At my work we have automatic flushing toilets. The sensors are tripped when someone stands up or moves away from the pot. There are also manual buttons to flush the toilet in case the sensors don't work. A real class act all the way.

But what's not so classy is when the automatic flush doesn't work, and some inconsiderate employee couldn't be bothered to flush their own crap. It's amazing how some people could be in too much of a hurry or be too absent minded to not realize their turd, along with toilet paper and sanitary seat cover are now fermenting in the bowl and is on display for everyone else to see. But that was the case today. I found a nice messy turd waiting for me when I stepped into the stall to do my morning constitutional.

So, what's wrong with you people? Are you lazy? Or is it that you're absent minded? I could understand if you are blind and deaf and can't see that your turd is still sitting in the bowl, or couldn't hear that it didn't get flushed away. Are you Helen Keller? That's it, you're Helen Keller aren't you? You learned how to sign water, then you popped a squat in the men's room before I came in.

And speaking of Helen Keller, do you remember this little schoolyard potty humor gem?
Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A: They stuck a plunger in the toilet.
Think about it...Yeah. She's blind and she'll sit right down on the handle. That'll teach her.

Back to my story. So I had to flush someone else's poop down the toilet. And it wasn't like the button wasn't working. It worked. In fact, it took two flushes to clear the bowl because of heavy skid marks.

Moral of the story, flush your own turd, otherwise your coworker will write about it on the Internet.