2-2-At-2

In my last entry I touched on the issue of talking on the phone in the bathroom. In my opinion it's gross, it's tasteless, it's rude to those around you who need complete silence to do their business. But how many people are more open the idea of text on the can?

I know at least one co-worker who admits freely to texting while shitting. He does No. 2 at 2PM and goes down to the second floor bathrooms to do it. He goes there because he thinks their bathrooms are nicer. They're exactly the same. It's referred to at work as the 2-2-at-2. And he texts coworkers when he does it saying, "Guess where I am?"

A couple of days ago I'm sure I caught a covert texter who was sending a message while on the toilet. From the stall, I heard a soft clicking sound, like the kind you might here from a keypad of a cell phone. There were no beeps, just the clicking sound.

I have never sent a text message from a cell phone in my entire life. It's true. I don't use them. The reason why is an entirely different story. But texting while in the bathroom makes me think of one of my friends who dropped his cell phone in -- his own words -- "a piss-filled toilet." I never asked if he was texting while pissing, but he is a consummate texter and the more I think about it, I think that's how it went down.

"Oh no she di'n't!"

It's not often that I can talk about what goes on in the women's bathroom, except for when I'm in a Starbucks, or a gas station and I can't wait for the men's room to clear out and I have to go. Did you male readers know they get special chairs or couches to sit on when they have their cramps?

On Thursday, when I stepped out of the men's room, I saw a large black woman coming out of the door of the women's room gabbing on her cell phone coming out the door. Now she was one of those large black women who just by looking at her you can tell she doesn't take crap from nobody. Kind of like the Pinesol lady.

I don't know who she was talking to or what she was talking about, but the conservation definitely started in the can. Most likely when she was sitting on the toilet. What a lovely picture.

"Busy!"

Why wouldn't a grown man, a professional no less, lock the stall door? It's beyond me.

After two cups of coffee and two cups of water I made a dash for the small bathroom nearest my cube. It has one urinal and one stall. There was someone at the urinal so I opened the door to the stall and saw a man standing there. No more than a glimpse, I closed the door and he called out, "Busy!"

No shit? Lock the door you fool! Here you are a man in your mid forties, well dressed in business clothes and you don't know how to slide a latch on the door. Hey stupid. Close the door!